Wednesday, March 10, 2004
I drank too much water
Many years ago, I just came back from a bar-mitzvah weekend at my cousins in Memphis. I was a little tired and probably wasn't up for a Beck concert at the Aragon. But I had to go. This was Beck! I was all set to go with Merlin and his roommate, Adam, who is now a lawyer.
We got to the Aragon and picked our places, standing about 30 feet back from the stage, dead center. We stood around for a while waiting for the show to start. It was then I took it upon myself to eat half of a dose of, let's say "beer." The opening act, Hank III, started. I also started getting a little warm. We had good spots, and I am also fairly pretty cheap, so I had to tie my jacket around my waste. The show was rockin' and the kind gentlemen standing next to me also offered me some, let's say "cigarettes." Not Merlin or Adam, they were standing on my other side, and aren't into that kind of stuff.
Hank III finished up their excellent set and we stood around for another hour. We didn't move and I continued to smoke "cigarettes." Beck started a great set and got about 3 songs in before I passed out. I started sweating heavily and things got kind of swirly and nice for a minute and then nothing. I didn't know if I was sitting or standing. It turns out, I was lying down. I heard some voices as I faded back into existence. I started to see heads hovering over me from all sides, just like passing out and waking up in the movies. They mostly said, "Dude, are you okay?"
I said "Yeah, yeah. I'll be fine." About 30 seconds later, I faded in from black again. This time I wanted to try to sit for a while. When I started falling over from a sitting position, Merlin, who was almost a doctor, and probably Adam, started dragging me to the side. I was in and out of it with varying degrees of consciousness, but they tell me I was moving my legs slightly in a feeble attempt to walk with them. Then I remember one of the wooden horses lift up and I got out of the crowd. Later, I was told that it took them ten minutes to drag me to the side. To me, it only felt like a minute. I was seated on the floor, leaning against the wall, with someone pushing a bottle of water at me. I drank some water and started to feel better, and a little more conscious. We decided that we could hang out along the sides until the show was over, while I sit on the floor and rehydrate myself. None of us would have to miss the music.
I finished a 1.5 L bottle of water. Merlin asked me if I had to pee. I told him, "No." Then he gave me another one and I finished that, too. We did this about four or five times. Then, we went back to his place to chill out for a while to see if I would pee.
When I walked in the door, Zeke was on the couch in his boxers and a T-shirt. I hadn't seen him for a long time. His face lit up when I saw him and he said, "Hey Velvel! How's it going? Wanna beer?"
Merlin's face was priceless when he just shook his head at him and waved his hand, "No." I took a spot on the couch next to Zeke. He was really hospitable and kept pressing me. "Are you sure? Can I get you something to drink? Some water?"
I said, "How about a bucket?" real casually, as the evil realization was coming to me. It took Zeke a few seconds to process the information, and in his delay, I barfed all over the floor. About 1 1/2 gallons of water.
So Merlin took me to the hospital and I got better during the few hours I was in the waiting room. I ate some peanuts and peed. I slept on his couch that night, and he dropped me off at the train in the morning. On the way, he told me that he would never accompany me to a concert, again. And he never did.
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We got to the Aragon and picked our places, standing about 30 feet back from the stage, dead center. We stood around for a while waiting for the show to start. It was then I took it upon myself to eat half of a dose of, let's say "beer." The opening act, Hank III, started. I also started getting a little warm. We had good spots, and I am also fairly pretty cheap, so I had to tie my jacket around my waste. The show was rockin' and the kind gentlemen standing next to me also offered me some, let's say "cigarettes." Not Merlin or Adam, they were standing on my other side, and aren't into that kind of stuff.
Hank III finished up their excellent set and we stood around for another hour. We didn't move and I continued to smoke "cigarettes." Beck started a great set and got about 3 songs in before I passed out. I started sweating heavily and things got kind of swirly and nice for a minute and then nothing. I didn't know if I was sitting or standing. It turns out, I was lying down. I heard some voices as I faded back into existence. I started to see heads hovering over me from all sides, just like passing out and waking up in the movies. They mostly said, "Dude, are you okay?"
I said "Yeah, yeah. I'll be fine." About 30 seconds later, I faded in from black again. This time I wanted to try to sit for a while. When I started falling over from a sitting position, Merlin, who was almost a doctor, and probably Adam, started dragging me to the side. I was in and out of it with varying degrees of consciousness, but they tell me I was moving my legs slightly in a feeble attempt to walk with them. Then I remember one of the wooden horses lift up and I got out of the crowd. Later, I was told that it took them ten minutes to drag me to the side. To me, it only felt like a minute. I was seated on the floor, leaning against the wall, with someone pushing a bottle of water at me. I drank some water and started to feel better, and a little more conscious. We decided that we could hang out along the sides until the show was over, while I sit on the floor and rehydrate myself. None of us would have to miss the music.
I finished a 1.5 L bottle of water. Merlin asked me if I had to pee. I told him, "No." Then he gave me another one and I finished that, too. We did this about four or five times. Then, we went back to his place to chill out for a while to see if I would pee.
When I walked in the door, Zeke was on the couch in his boxers and a T-shirt. I hadn't seen him for a long time. His face lit up when I saw him and he said, "Hey Velvel! How's it going? Wanna beer?"
Merlin's face was priceless when he just shook his head at him and waved his hand, "No." I took a spot on the couch next to Zeke. He was really hospitable and kept pressing me. "Are you sure? Can I get you something to drink? Some water?"
I said, "How about a bucket?" real casually, as the evil realization was coming to me. It took Zeke a few seconds to process the information, and in his delay, I barfed all over the floor. About 1 1/2 gallons of water.
So Merlin took me to the hospital and I got better during the few hours I was in the waiting room. I ate some peanuts and peed. I slept on his couch that night, and he dropped me off at the train in the morning. On the way, he told me that he would never accompany me to a concert, again. And he never did.
Tuesday, March 09, 2004
Search for interesting Purim stories
Did anyone vomit or have an uncomfortable meeting with a girl this weekend?
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